note to self....

[Before I start: this hamster... doin his thing... pumping some serious iron... has nothing to do with this blog... i just thought he was cute]

One of my many thought processes today included:
(Put's on pair of favourite pants)

"Hmm... once again... fricken disproportioned self! Miss long legs here has to hem her pants... well what's new? Let's get this deal done!"

(Rips pants off & starts to rip at seams with a seam ripper...)

"Fricken seam ripper... could the "seam people" make life more difficult... one thread at a time... psh screw that...."

(rips with hands as best as she can... thus make pants even more disproportioned!)...

"ah there..."

(puts 'em back on)...

"hmm... well now that i have the length... OH WAIT... I must put slits in the sides at the bottom so as to let the pants flow nicely over any shoe... (don't ask?!? it's a julia thing..)"

(rips pants off again!... & sits on edge of bed and turns to scissors for aid... )
Sn-Ip... SNi-p... rip rip RIP!!!!

"Wo-ho-ho...easy tiger! Took a little much off there... oh well! That'll do!"

(pants go whipping back on)

"Oh wonderful... WoW! pretty darn good... AUGh crap.... now my pants are all wrinkled... but I'm not takin these suckers off again... but i look like a fricken wrinkle grub... hmmm.... i wonder??.... c-can it be done?!? Ironing the clothes while on the body!?.... oh heck yes! I'm pretty skilled with heated machines..."

(turns iron on full blast and cockily starts to iron out pants...)

"oh... oh my! that's... that's kinda nice... oh my! Like a self inflicted leg-massage and heating pad all in one! I should get wrinkly more often.. Man I'm a keener! To think I would have wasted two seconds of my ever exciting life to take my pants off! haha... hey... hey, wouldn't it be funny if... hA! Naw... im not that retar-... GAH!!! OUCH!!!!! BURNING!!!!! OH MY WORD... you know you can NOW remove the HOT metal object from bubbling butt skin... NO NO... 'body'... do NOT react by pushing the iron harder onto the skin...didn't i train my skin receptors and motor skills well enough!?!"

(Looks down at hip/butt to see massive red flesh burn...)

"Well I guess it didn't burn that bad... psh... whatever... I'm strong... come on... oh... my pants are still wrinkled... well i'll be carefull..... HA and like i'm that gay to do it a sec-.... GAH!!!! (sizzling skin bubbles).... oh mother that burns!...."

(second deeper burn noted on right lower hip flab...)...

Does she stop & chance to criticism from friends for being such a wrinkle nut? Or does she press on through the burning fires of hand-held hell?!?
Just think about.... think real hard.... this is Julia!