I was on f-i-R-E... until...

Well yesterday it was the start of my stretch of days off from work! I awoke with a start later in the morning, and totally unlike me, I actually got up and got at her!
For the past few months I'd attempt to clean my room, I swear, every day. But, ended up pulling a Julia ever one of those days. Something shiney catches the corner of my eye from the opposite end of the room, and I'm enthralled for the next four hours! Needless to say... my room hasn't remained cleaned in months!
Well.... to my mother's utter shock, I cleaned my room! Cranked my music and produced, new sheets, vacuum, dusting, everything! It's lovely! Then I proceed to actually get showered, dressed and well groomed, before noon. I took the dogs for a walk without being nagged. Went downtown and did some errands. Had such a tank of energy that I headed to the pool to workout in the gym for an undetermined amount of time. I was there for a good hour, pretty much going nuts... it was awsome! Went home and pretty much made a full meal for my familly! Roast, potatoes, gravy, semsame stir-fryed broccoli... delish! Then went out with one of my dear friends to catch up over tea and then picked my sistter up from work... and in the process of driving her friend home, almost ran over our dear firefighters coming out of the hall from fire practice....
Anyways... the point of all of this... I had a wonderful, very fruitful day... for being a day off! It was awsome! But when I sat down to so my nightly journalling, this massive massive cyclone, hurricane, storm of depression smacked me in the heart and mind like nobodies business! It overtook me! Worry, discontentment, discouragement, unhappiness, loneliness, and uncertainty hit me! Not the first time... It's happened before.... especially in this season of my life....
So my journalling turned into depressed scribblings of how much I hurt, & how I am confused, and how I don't have it all figured out or pulled together, and how I am scared and I am lonely and....blah blah... got really worked up, when I'm sure half of the stuff I was worked up over, was probably not even true in reality.... I this... I that...I... blah blah... I... ok wow, you can shut your trap now Julia! That's enough self-centredness to last a monks lifetime! haha
Was just about to go to bed as angry as a beaver, with a hurting ripped heart, when I cracked open my bible, and turned on some Hillsong United.
I instantly took the focus off of the "I" and off my own hurt, and put it onto God. I seriously felt instant peace & calm! I sat there reading, meditating and praying for the longest time... I could have stayed up all night just enthralled in God's word, and basking in his grace and mercy! It was unbelievable! Yet this isn't the first time it's happened.... not the first time God's done this for me.... he always does! I just gotta remember whos arms to run into!...
So many times I turn to the world or to other people to fulfill my needs... I need love... I need someone to care... I need... filling! "Please, sir... I want some more!" But people are people.... They can't fulfill me the way that God can. God is all that I need! The only one who can trully give me all that I need.... heal the hurt, fill the yerning, the loneliness.... take the confusion, distress, and discontent... replace it with peace, joy, content, patience, love...
It's incredible....
I feel like dancing and doing a little jig right now....oh.... watch me go... oh... oh... thats right! haha...
*{Romans 8:18-39}*....READ IT.... now....wait for it... wait...for...it....wow...wait.... & GO!!